I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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