Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
