He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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