I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize