I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
