hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
