I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
