so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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