The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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