I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
