Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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