Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i now understand why vodka
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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