I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
