Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
