Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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