can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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