I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
