I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
