Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
