i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
