he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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