My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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