Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
