I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
