that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
birth control should be required to get into college
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
