whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
