I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
