yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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