Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize