The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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