Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
