my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
