Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
