I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
