You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
