what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
