I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
