i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
