You smell like a Billy Joel song
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
