i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
