Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
