That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
