Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
