she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
