honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
