Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
