I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
