I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
