brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
