my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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