i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
