He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
