Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
