Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
