I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My feet surprised me
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