It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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