You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
